Now, to be clear, I am not male bashing with this post. In fact, there are plenty of men out there that know exactly what I'm about to talk about and they probably see it as a problem too, but back to Ice T and his Guardian interview.
"Men are just being so passive, not standing for something; they're very politically correct." Minus the "politically correct" (I don't really know what he meant by that), I agree with him. In my experience, there are a lot of men in the world that have no clue what BEING a man means. Sure, you have a penis, you have higher levels of testosterone, you are male, but some males perpetually practice the fine art of bitchassness on a daily basis.
During the Guardian interview, Ice T used an example that perfectly shows the bitchassness of some men. "If you're with your girl and you're like, "Where should we park? I don't know...", she'll be like, "Park here!" And she's probably going to say it with an attitude too. Some men reading this blog may wonder what the big deal is, it's just a parking spot. Yes, it is JUST a parking spot. However, if you can't decide on a damn parking spot with my help, how the hell am I supposed to trust you when it comes to making big decisions? What if we run into financial problems, relationship problems, problems with family? Am I supposed to solve those issues solely on my own as well? Am I expected to make every decision on my own despite the fact there is another able bodied person in my life? ...Boo...I can do bad all by myself if that's the case.
I was vibing with the first few paragraphs of the interview, but then he said some dumb shit. "Women were going to grow stronger anyway because women want the power. ...they've made men feel very uncomfortable about speaking out about their feelings." [insert face palm]
I'm still shaking my head at that comment. It's completely false and pretty damned bigoted. Do some women want power? Probably so, but I think it's more about equal pay at this point. In general, I believe women want partners. A partnership does not imply an imbalance of power, but rather a sharing of it. Then there's the second part of the quote.
So...riddle me this, if a person is so insecure with themselves that they allow another person to make them too afraid to speak their minds, weren't they already a pussy? I mean, why is it my fault (as a woman) that you feel so intimidated by me that you won't speak up for yourself? I don't even want that shit! I once had a guy tell me that he didn't think he would hear from me again because he disagreed with me while having a heated debate. What I told him was that I would rather a man speak his own mind than tell me what he thinks I want to hear. He then went on to say that every man's goal is to get the panties and disagreeing with a woman doesn't help men get to that goal. I replied by saying very clearly "Oh yeah, just so you're clear, we're never having sex." I'm telling this story for a very specific reason so men, pay attention.
It wasn't that he disagreed with me that turned me off, it was that his idea of being a man was proving that he was right. In EVERYTHING. In my eyes, a man should be able to admit when he's wrong just like a women should be able to do the same. That's the difference between a balance of power and a power struggle. This guy in particular was being a bitch and the cooter mamma dried right on up! In addition to that, he was constantly speaking in this fake ass Shakespearean iambic pentameter that he mysteriously disappeared whenever he was talking about something he said to his friends. His inability to share power or be himself told me a few things about this guy. Number one, he was intimidated by me, so he felt like he couldn't just be himself. Number two, he probably would always struggle for complete power with me because otherwise...intimidation. Number three, he didn't feel like he himself, his REAL self was good enough for me, which means it probably wasn't. Add a lack of listening skills and the fact he LITRALLY bowed to me when he showed up for dinner I was done. In the first 5 minutes of dinner.
However, I digress. My point is (maybe you see it), the inability of some males to transcend their own insecurities and grow into men is not the fault of women. If you are a bitch now you were a bitch long before you met me, so the whole "men feel uncomfortable because of women" bullshit needs to go. I (women in general) have nothing to do with the widespread pussyfication of men. Ya'll are doing that on your own.
Make a fucking decision! If I want to go eat and you say where and my response is "I don't care", don't even tell me where the fuck we're going, just drive. If I don't like it when we get there, my bad, I said I didn't care. If you want to ask me out on a date, TELL me where the fuck we're going, don't call me and say "let me know what you want to do and when." NO! You plan the damn date you asked ME out now show me you can plan something. These are all small things that real men already do that are attractive as hell to women.
Either you are a man or you aren't. It seems that there are less and less men in the world today, but even pussies can find love! However, if you're woman feels the need to take on the role of a man in your relationship, chances are it's because you made her feel like she HAD to. That may work out fine for some women, but not for me. I don't want to "mold" a man. I don't enjoy always getting my way no matter how crazy and I don't want a bobble head with a penis that can say nothing other than "yes". That shit's uninteresting and weak.
As Tony Braxton said, just be a man about it...