In my experience, men assume women want either an Adonis of a man or a man that makes 7 figures and will pay for everything, but that isn't what I want. In fact, in my experience, that isn't what MOST women want. I'll speak for myself when I say my choice in men comes down to three things.
1. My ability to emotionally and mentally connect with the person
2. The foundation we have TOGETHER to build a healthy future
3. My personal preference in basic genetics
The first two are pretty self explanatory. I want someone that I can truly connect with and someone stable enough to grow something real with me as a team. And when I say stable, I mean they can take care of themselves and have a job. The third thing is a little more complicated, but it's the way nature works! I like tall guys that have decent builds (don't have to have a perfect body) and men that have natural intelligence. These are traits that are passed down generation to generation and quite frankly, I want my imaginary/future children to be taller if possible, but I'm not budging on the intelligence factor. I'm not having dumb ass kids. So, when men say "lower your standards" I want to tell them to "up your game." In fact, the game for men in general has fallen to shit and when I talked to a friend about why, it made sense to me.
Let's imagine the year is 30,000 BC. There is no technology, no real medicine, no way to travel other than to walk...a lot. In fact, so much walking is required to get anywhere new that people probably stayed in a close knit group called a tribe/village/whatever and they chose their mates from that group of people. There were women and men both looking to procreate in their small groups of people, but the women had more to lose when choosing a mate.
Men ejaculate an average of 180 sperm cells every time they orgasm. Then they regenerate those sperm cells so they can possibly impregnate a woman all over again. They can repeat this cycle pretty much until the day they die. If they can get up, they can get someone pregnant. Women on the other hand are born with a finite number of eggs and out of those eggs, there is another finite number of eggs that will be viable enough to POSSIBLY be fertilized. You add in the lack of modern technology, medicine and the fact that women can freaking die during child birth and it's pretty obvious women have A LOT more to lose when having sex. So women, naturally had to be chooser when picking a mate.
I'd also like to assume back then, the gene pool was a little better. All the slow fat hominids were trampled by stampedes of oversized buffalo and the dumb ones couldn't figure out how to start fires, so they froze to death. So, let's assume the gene pool leaned more towards the smart and healthy side. That would more than likely mean that women had a decent pool to choose from, but for the most part, they did the choosing because, well, there is that whole threat of death during childbirth, so Lucy wasn't sleeping around. Which made the men do everything in their power to catch the attention of the mate they wanted, but in the end the woman still chose. To make this point a little more relatable, let's fast forward to a time when there was medicine and technology, but it still wasn't all that good or available to women.
I often think "they don't make 'em like my daddy anymore" and there's a reason why. During the time before Women's Suffrage and the Feminist Movement, "slut shaming" didn't have a name and you didn't have to be a slut. If you lost your virginity before marriage, you were automatically a whore and DON'T get pregnant before marriage. You would either be forced into a marriage, live with the stigma of being "less than" your whole life or risk death/imprisonment with an unsafe and illegal abortion. So, even in those days, men had to be "better" in order to win their prize. Now let's go to modern times.
Thanks to feminist and the feminist movement, women have more access to much needed healthcare, are being seen more often as equally sexual creatures to men and well, that risk of pregnancy has been diminished through the use of pills, IUDs, condoms and Plan B. So, that cost I spoke about earlier has gotten a little less important. Not only that, but thanks to modern medicine and technology, that slow, fat, dumb male that should have been Darwined (it's a verb) out of the gene pool, has somehow managed to create a rap career and now has chicks throwing themselves at him because he has money. The lowest genetically viable male no longer has to work in order to reproduce and the most viable Alpha has so many choices, they don't really have to choose. This shit is all fucked up.
While good women are searching for a good mate, the good mates either don't try at all because they've never had to, or they don't make a choice because they don't feel like they need to. So, the good women are told to lower their standards and accept less ... because men are too lazy to up their games without their being a reason to do so. Let's think of the proof of this.
Some of this stuff I didn't believe actually happened until I started to see it with my own eyes. Things like women that have had MULTIPLE abortions. I'm not judging a person that chooses to have an abortion because it is THEIR choice, but you think after it happens once your ass should get on the pill? Even the fact things like the pill exist is proof that women can now have sex without the risk of pregnancy. Assuming women like sex as much as men do (we do btw) and the stigma of sex before marriage is becoming a thing of the past, it's probably safe to assume that more sex is being had in general. Now, I'm not saying every woman is out there just sleeping with anybody, but I can own the fact I'm not as choosy as Lucy probably was. So, men don't have to work as hard to find sex and they think all they need to get the prize woman is money. In case you didn't know, that isn't a prize it's a THOT. THOTs are really pretty to look at, but dumb as a box of hair and loose with the coochy. They are making things so easy for anyone with money that Mr. Money bags feel like women should chase him! Perfect example, Doc.
If you follow my Facebook fanpage, you know I went out with Doc (he's a doctor) last week. When I met him, he was completely not my physical type, his emotional IQ was probably a 2 and something just didn't sit well with me when it came to him. I had planned on going out with him again to see if we could maybe be friends (totally platonic), but he started acting like an arrogant asshole! He called me twice while I was on the phone with friends. Then text me "I called you back" like I don't have caller ID in 2015, then he text me AGAIN while I was still on the phone "You're dating schedule must be really busy" to which I responded "Or, I'm on the phone with my friends. That's the other option." This all happened over the course of an hour. One freaking hour of my phone constantly beeping because I just MUST be at his beckon call right? No. Well, he sent me a text after that at 12AM pretty much telling me I was rude and to "stick to what you know which is silly white boys." This is proof to me that men feel like they don't have to work anymore. He obviously was arrogant enough to think I should drop everything and do what he wanted despite the fact that physically, he got the evolutionary short stick in that department. Ignoring the physical evolutionary short comings, he was capable of learning medicine, but he was still an idiot. I don't date "silly white boys", I date silly black ones, he only needed to look in the mirror to realize that! But, he was used to THOTS that would do anything for him because he had money to offer and NOTHING else.
So in the end, despite how far women have come and how beautifully independent, intelligent and decisive we are, there are a few things that have happened to make it harder for us to find an Alpha in the sea of Beta males. In theory, we have helped to create more Betas. Which sucks, but it was also necessary for us to advance in the world. Now, we have to find a happy medium so we can improve the dating pools for our children. One day, I hope all woman can come together again and get back to our evolutionary roots, effectively forcing men to get their shit together. But, in the meantime, I'm going to keep looking for my Alpha. I'd rather be alone than to settle for salad when I want a steak.