When I asked him to explain to me what a "Detroit chick" sounds like he started laughing and called the bar tender over with these words... "Man, let me get a real sista over here!" Now, that just pissed me the fuck off! So somehow I'm less black because of the way I was raised to speak!? WTF!? Needless to say, he apologized to me after I ripped him a new one, but the thing is, I've heard the same idea from other black men when talking about marriage or dating.
You have no idea how many times I have had black men tell me, "you're going to marry a white guy" or "is your boyfriend white?" or "do you even like black men?" There are SEVERAL black men, some I've been interested in, that told me I was going to eventually fall for a white guy. Well shit, it seems I'm going to marry a white guy. But here's the thing, none of them have some sort of unknown psychic power, so it has to be some sort of racist stereotyping that they themselves are choosing to believe. Racial stereotypes and biases are affecting my dating life! I will say it again, I am being directly affected by stupid stereotypes by BLACK men in my freaking dating life.
Never mind that when men tell me I sound "white", it makes my coochy dry up faster than dew on grass in a Phoenix summer, I really wanted to know what is was EXACTLY about me that screams interracial dater, so I asked someone. What he told me was that I "don't seem like the average black chick" so, it would make sense that some black men would think I'm looking for a white man or even be intimidated by me. What I heard when he told me that was that there are a lot of black men out there that don't know their history and don't respect what being black really means.
However, I know my history. I come from a long list of strong, intelligent, beautiful and dedicated BLACK men. In my family, "it takes a village" was a practice, not a saying. I understand everyone does not have my same background, but it's all I know. I love black men. In fact, unless you look like Chris Hemsworth, chances are I won't look twice if you aren't black. Not a prejudice thought, but a preference. If someone doesn't come from my exact same background, I couldn't care less. As long as you are doing something positive now, I don't really care if you prefer rap to trip hop. I'm cool with it. Now I have to ask myself, how much has racist brainwashing affected my love life? At what point will stupid ideals of what it is to be "black" stop affecting me?
If you've ran into problems like this or anything similar, please leave a comment. I would love to know your thoughts on this.