Really and truly, I don't want to offend anyone, but this shit has GOT to stop. One day I'm looking at my FaceBook feed and there are pictures (EVERY-FREAKING-WHERE)of Bruce Jenner (now Caitlyn Jenner) and I'm like, "OK, you came out. Good for you." Then I see all the debates going on (that are mostly homophobic) diminishing Caitlyn's bravery for coming out publicly. THEN I see all the news stories and TV clips praising Caitlyn for coming out and bringing a new face to the trans world and feminism. Then there's that crazy chick, Rachel Dolezal, that's been lying for a decade about her race. And another "trans" is created. Trans-racial. What!? So, now I'm supposed to call Caitlyn a "she" and Rachel "black" and believe that shit? ...Nope! Here's my problem with the "trans" movement. In short, I think it's bullshit. Yes, Bruce/Caitlyn was and is brave for coming out and being willing enough to take the scrutiny of millions of people, but that doesn't make Caitlyn a woman. In fact, lying about your ethnicity and wearing braids and a curly wig, doesn't make you black. Although I do have respect for Caitlyn Jenner (and none for Rachel), I still feel it's insulting to insinuate that changing your physical appearance automatically gives you membership into a group/groups with more in common than just appearance. In fact, it is impossible to erase the privilege that has come from their previous identity. For example, let's take a look at Bruce. Bruce was born, into a two parent household in New York. When Bruce was in High School, Bruce became a football player and would earn himself a Scholarship to attend high school playing football. He would eventually suffer an injury that ended his football career and go on to being a decathlon athlete. His decision and athletic ability in the decathlon would eventually lead to Olympic Gold Medals, record setting times, titles such as the "world's greatest athlete" and a ton of endorsements which would lead to a ton of money. No one else has a problem that Caitlyn earned fame and fortune due to Bruce? At what point does Caitlyn acknowledge that Bruce is the reason that Caitlyn even has the money to exists? At what point, does Caitlyn say "I never had to deal with lower wages, sexist comments or being told I can't play football because I was a man" Furthermore, let's be honest, Caitlyn will likely NEVER hear any of those things because Bruce made it in America BEFORE Caitlyn was even born. In fact, the most respectful thing Caitlyn could do would be to tell the world I wanted to look like a woman, but I respect I will never BE a woman. I mean, Caitlyn will never have to drag herself out of the bed and go to work no matter how bad her cramps are. That is an experience that is unique to womanhood. Then there's Rachel... Oh Rachel! I can barely take this whole story seriously. White girl from rural area begins to identify with black culture, eventually begins to outwardly change her appearance to fit black culture and finally lies to everyone for more than a decade by telling them she IS black. ...Bitch please... Going to a HBCU and having black adopted siblings, does not give anyone the right to say they are a particular race. And now, the media is trying to cram the idea of "transracial" down our throats. Some people are beginning to latch on the idea and I wonder how long it will be before Rachel references Caitlyn as proof that transracial exists, but it's all bullshit. In both cases, Bruce/Rachel are trying to earn this title/label of something that is very much a caricature of what it really is to be (black/woman). I'm sure Caitlyn feels more comfortable in makeup and dresses. I'm sure she loves being able to shop for cute bras and panties and getting her nails done being pampered at the salon and blah blah blah. Caitlyn actually LIKES doing all the things that ,this woman at least, does in order to look manicured and get free ice cream from time to time. I mean, the ice cream is good, but I'd rather roll out of bed and say "fuck it". My point is, "woman" does not equal pink and frilly and soft and beautiful, that's what society tells us it equals. However, it is not a true depiction of womanhood. But Caitlyn's story is still of value. She has an opportunity to share her transgendered experiences instead of pretending to be a full woman. Caitlyn can own the trans label and tell us THOSE struggles instead of looking pretty and half naked on the cover of Vogue. Tell me about Bruce and Caitlyn, because without Bruce, Caitlyn doesn't exist. Rachel, on the other hand takes caricatures to a whole new level and gets no props. So every chick in the world that decides to wear their hair in braids or get a curly perm is now black? Nope, it doesn't work like that. Of course Rachel knew this, so she took it a step further. She enrolled at a HBCU, faked hate crimes and decided to join the NAACP. That should earn her a black card right? ...No. Still doesn't work like that. By pretending to be black (and striving to be black), Rachel has COMPLETELY ignored the day to day minutia that comes along with being black. Instead, she went the "sistah solja" route and began to live, what she believed to be, a black life. But her black life was a complete joke. She faked the big things and COMPLETELY ignored the small things. Or, how about this fact, being the cause of a huge emotional response felt across the nation because you were faking being black, is the exact opposite of something someone that IS black would do. In short, can EVERYONE (mainly the media), call a spade a spade and acknowledge that EACH human being is shaped by all their experiences, especially childhood experiences and being trans means you do not have the similar set of experiences required to say you ARE a part of a particular group. In short, you can sit at the table and eat the meal, but you still have no idea what it took to cook it. There is one sure fire way I know to attract a man I'm interested in. I have big brown eyes and I use them, in fact, I feel every woman and even men can use the art of smizing to attract the opposite sex more often. Why is "smizing" so effective when attracting people? Well, eyes are the windows to the soul, among other things. Eye contact actually shows interest. Not creepy starring, you should never do that, but normal eye contact. Not only that, but it actually can cause arousal! Yes, eye contact can turn on your potential match even from across a room. It's kind of like a super power everyone can use. Your pupils even naturally dilate when you're aroused. It's one of those cool body language things that your brain subconsciously picks up on. Sexy, right? So here are a few ways I have learned to "smize". It's gotten me a few really good conversations so far, so it's worth a try. 1. Pick your target: If you're going to use smize filled eye contact, you have to know what you're looking at, so this should be obvious. 2. Catch their eye: Make sure your target sees you. 3. Smile: Actually smile! It's one of the biggest non verbal cues you can use to show you're open to an approach. 4. Hold it in: This is what I do and it leads to smizing. Hold in your smile, but if you're still smiling on the inside, it will show in your eyes. Look away a couple of times and play coy if you're a woman. 5. Check Yourself: Is your target gazing back at you or nah? If not, it may not be a match, but if they are, you may have something. A mutual gaze can (usually) mean mutual interest. 6. You're smizing!: If you're a man and your target "smizes" back, you go to her. Nothing is sexier than a man that takes control. Ladies, they will come to you 90% of the time. Once you've gotten their attention, be your charming witty self and let things progress from there. Try it the next time you go out and see what happens. Your Welcome :-) As a completely clueless tomboy, I'm still working on this section of my blog, but for now I will say this. If you are seriously looking for a mate, a partner, someone to love you, cover up! I'm not saying dress like a nun, but there is something to be said for "leaving something to the imagination" Ladies, I get it. You feel really sexy in you short skirt and bra top, but is it getting you the attention you want? Do you go out and find men are talking to you, but what they say seems to be weighted heavily on disrespectful side? Maybe it's your booty and NOT your beauty. I've compiled this list of 5 things I feel every single woman should follow when dressing to catch someone's eye. ****ONCE AGAIN I'M A TOMBOY, SO TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS****
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AuthorAs an avid reader and novice writer, I seek to share my single lady experiences in an informative and entertaining way. Feel free to share your thoughts as well in the comments sections! ArchivesCategories |